The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
