problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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