He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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