is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everyone says I win the strip club
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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