dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
