He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
