Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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