You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
