I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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