my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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