this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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