there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
