Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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