Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
