I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
