Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
