He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
