Define "chronic" masturbator.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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