Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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