I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
