it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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