we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
