btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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