peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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