Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
