I smell stomach acid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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