I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
