my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
