at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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