It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
