i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
