I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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