brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
