sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
