Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
