One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
