how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
