grandma shit on top of the toilet
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
