bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have fence marks all over my body
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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