apparently the secret to your success is patron
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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