well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
