This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
