his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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