after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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