I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
