I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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