My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You can't special order awesome
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
