turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
