He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
