i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
